Marriage Counselling is a Must: Here’s Why

Agnes, a marriage counselor and wedding officiant, and Ryan explain why couples benefit from marriage counseling: unspoken differences in goals, culture, parenting, holidays and handling life changes. They also cover the unity candle ceremony, why you cannot change a partner, and Agnes's advice to live together for a year before marrying.

Takeaways

• Talk through long-term goals, parenting style, money, holidays and family expectations before marriage, not after problems show up.
• You cannot change someone against their will, so judge a partner by who they are now.
• Marry because you want to, not because of circumstances, and consider counseling when the same argument keeps coming back in different words.

Chapters

• 0:00 Wedding season and today's topic
• 1:35 Why couples need marriage counseling
• 2:41 Fantasy at the start of a marriage
• 4:48 You cannot change your partner
• 6:52 Shared goals and long-term direction
• 7:23 Cultural and family differences
• 8:25 Life transitions, children and parenting
• 11:02 Holidays and families
• 12:32 The unity candle and forming a new family unit
• 16:54 A long list of reasons for counseling
• 19:27 How marriage roles have changed
• 21:32 Couples arguing about the same thing
• 23:12 The early 'representative' version of a partner
• 24:49 Living together for a year first
• 27:57 Divorce rates and closing advice

Conversation and opinion, not medical, legal, tax or financial advice.