Agnes and Ryan discuss where flirting ends and harassment begins, defining flirting as mutual, playful and consensual and harassment as unwelcome attention, often involving a power imbalance. They draw on the Anita Hill hearings, workplace examples, how to turn someone down kindly, why a smile is not an invitation, and the risks of office romance.
Takeaways
- Flirting is mutual and welcome; attention that continues after someone signals no interest, or comes from a person with power over you, is harassment.
- A smile, a dance or politeness is not consent or interest, so listen to the words and ask verbally.
- If you are turned down or need to turn someone down, do it kindly and clearly, and think hard about the consequences before pursuing a romance at work.
Chapters
- 0:00 Flirting versus harassment: the question
- 2:13 How dating has changed
- 4:49 Workplace harassment and the Anita Hill case
- 9:02 Defining flirting and harassment
- 10:37 Asking someone out without crossing the line
- 13:20 Turning someone down kindly
- 15:26 A smile does not mean interest
- 18:07 Agnes's early experience at a cleaning job
- 20:45 Courtship then and now
- 23:20 Personal responsibility and looking out for others
- 30:07 Cultural differences and workplace romance
- 36:20 Handling coworker attraction and giving compliments
More episodes: Love, Death & Taxes · all episodes